Five Years Married, Still No Mini-Me

Married since 2021, still no kids? Yep, it’s 2025 and the womb is still on vacation, people. And guess what? That seems to be everyone's favorite conversation starter. Not everyone, but enough that I start hearing baby cries in my head whenever someone says, ‘Soooo...’

At first, it didn’t bother me. We were vibing with the whole 'cool aunt and uncle' lifestyle. No diapers, no daycare, just vibes and spontaneous naps. But somewhere along the way, after almost five years of marriage and one too many baby shower invites.....I started thinking, 'Hmm, babies might not be that bad.'

And just as the baby fever hit… boom! Plot twist here we go! My body said, ‘Let’s make this interesting.’ Gained weight, got tired, and then PCOS entered the chat like, ‘Hey mak cik, I’m here to mess things up!’ Seriously, it’s real and it’s a full-time job on its own. And I? I’ve been extremely lazy about dealing with it. Like, Olympic-level lazy.

Now my mom’s in the background like, 'Go see a gynecologist already!' And I’m just here, bingeing snacks, googling fertility success stories, buying so many fake vitamins from Tiktok and wondering… do I really want this? I don't know. But do I want all the effort that comes with it? That's the real question. Someone send help… or snacks.

 

P/s : Starting today, y’all are officially subscribed to my rant series...whether daily or weekly, I haven’t decided. But brace yourselves. I’m tired, dramatic, and oversharing is my new hobby. You’re welcome.

After Almost 3 Years… Here's the Truth.

My last post said I’d share some pictures. I never did. Life took over and it changed me in ways I never expected.

It’s been almost 3 years since I posted something. I got married at the end of 2021. A new beginning, right? No it didn't. In 2021, I found myself working in a private hospital assisting doctors in the operating theater. One of them even offered to help me further my studies in healthcare.

It should’ve felt like an opportunity… but something inside me knew I didn’t belong there. The pressure, the pain, the grief it swallowed me whole. I had to smile at patients, tell them they’d be okay, hold their hands even when I knew deep in my heart that they wouldn’t make it through the night. Most of them didn’t. Cancer is cruel. Chemo is worse. I still carry the weight of their faces, their final words, their silence.

Eventually, I couldn’t keep pretending I was okay. Two of my closest friends, felt it too. We made the choice to leave. And we did.

I stayed home for a while, trying to find peace, trying to breathe again. Then I got a job as an HR assistant thinking maybe this would be a fresh start. I was so wrong. I was bullied. Looked down on. People said I was “too stupid” for HQ, so they sent me to another branch. I kept my head down and stayed silent. I pretended not to hear the whispers. My pride was shattered, but I kept going. Quietly. Resiliently.

In just four weeks, I single-handedly fixed all their payment issues a job they couldn’t manage even with three people. And when I handed in my resignation, suddenly, they panicked. The CEO called a meeting. They had no idea who could replace me. I didn’t say much. I just handed them my offer letter from the state government (finance department).

One of them had the nerve to ask, “You know finance?”. I looked them dead in the eyes and said, “Yes, you dumbass. That’s how I managed to do three people’s jobs while you all judged me". Silence. The director said, “I saw your role is only ‘temporary’. Come back here if you ever need a job.” I smiled back and replied, “Sure. But I’ll be asking for a higher salary.”

Truth is, I’d never go back. Not in this lifetime. They didn’t even know that most “temporary” government positions become permanent after three years. Let them laugh. Let them assume. I know where I’m heading and it’s not back there.

In June 2023, I started my new job in the state government. The salary? Less than what I earned before. But the peace I found? Priceless. No bullying. Less drama. No weekend work. Paid overtime. Respect. Kindness. It felt like breathing after drowning for so long.

This... this was God’s doing. When I thought I was being buried, He was planting me.

I’ll share the interview story another day. Because that chapter deserves its own spotlight.

Terkejut blogger masih wujud

Salam sejahtera blogger. Tadi termasuk blogger org so tiberrr i terdetik hati untuk check blog sendiri. Rupanya masih ada. My goodness, last update 2017. Terlalu banyak hal yg terjadi. Perlu dedikasi yg penuh utk share dengan kamu. Anyway, my older post kinda nice sebab include some pictures what had happened. Jadi, tonight saya akan kumpul gambar2 that summarizes my journey since 2017. So much to talk about gais. Tomorrow I citer ye hehe. Btw,i dah kawen. Guess who? 😂 Nanti i update ya. Aktiviti mop & sapu blog dlu haha byebye.